Thank you, friend

Thank you, friend

Thank you, friend.

We’ve been amazing friends ever since we were in first year. You are different. You have a different taste. I liked you.

But, I decided not to end our friendship when I ended the others. Why? Because, I think I still want to be friends with you.

However, just now, I decided that we remain as acquaintances. We were close friends just so you know. That’s how I defined our friendship. I don’t know with you.

After all that had happened, I thank you for our friendship. It was long lived though. But, I think this is the end. I’m not mad that didn’t receive a notification but that gave me a hint that I’m still holding on and you already moved on.

So long, farewell.

“May you succeed in life and be an inspiration to many.”

You were a good friend and I will never forget that. I will treasure our memories and I will forever remember that you became a part of my life.

And here I am, signing off in your life. You’re better off without me, and them of course. I hope you’re happy. May God bless you, your endeavors, and your dreams. I’m always here for you, as an acquaintance and classmate.

Farewell,

bigfatpanda

Why I left

Why I left

To the people who tricked me,

Oo, ako yung humiwalay. Oo, ako yung nag-desisyon sa pagkakaibigan natin. Pero, minsan hindi dapat tayo manhid sa isa’t isa. Unang-una sa lahat, hindi biglaan ang desisyon ko. Matagal ko nang kinikimkim ang mga nararamdaman ko. Masakit. May kirot.

Tulad ng baso, napupuno rin ang tao. There are things that you are doing unconsciously. Being always left out of a conversation pains me. It’s hard to always adjust.

“Hindi ako bato na iindahin lahat ng mga aksyon niyo.”

It’s painful to see that you ignore my presence, that I am not important, that I am nonexistent.

Masakit sa pakiramdam yung nag-e-effort kayo kasi birthday ni X. Kahit kapos ang allowance ko, makikiparte pa rin ako sa bibilhin niyong regalo para kay X. Hindi naman sa nanunumbat ako pero wala man lang kayong effort sa kaarawan ko. Hindi ako naghihintay ng regalo. Yung paggunita lang sana yung hiling ko. Masaya na ko.

Masakit sa pakiramdam yung iiwan-iwanan ka lang, yung tipong wala man lang kayong pake na kasama niyo pala ako.

Masakit sa pakiramdam yung kapag ako ang may kailangan, parang ang hirap nyong hagilapin. Pero kapag kayo ang may kailangan, hindi-hinding niyo ko tatantanan.

Masakit sa pakiramdam yung ako yung nag-e-effort tapos ako yung kulelat. Hindi ko tanggap yung grado nun. Pero hindi na lang ako umalma dahil inintindi ko na lang yung sitwasyon.

It’s hard to enumerate the things you’ve done. I’m not that kind of person. Hindi ako nangengewenta. However, I hope you would also understand the things that I’ve done for you.

And, I would like to tell you that I’m with better people now. I’m happy and I never had regrets being with them.

I hope that without me, you would be happier. Alam kong pabigat ako dahil iba yung mga hilig niyo. Alam kong joiner lang ako kasi iba trato niyo saakin. Pero, tandaan niyo ito. Hindi ako manunumbat kasi biniyayaan ako ng mga mabubuting kaibigan na hindi katulad niyo.

I hope you’re all happy, and I bet you all are.

No regrets leaving you,

bigfatpanda

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Are we still friends?

Are we still friends?

Dear ___,

It’s 12:55 AM.

I’m bothered with the fact that I’m trying to open myself to you but you’re closing your doors. I adapted. I did so that we can go along together.

It seems that you can’t test friendship by looking at the good times.

The laughter. The secrets. The fun.

Maybe, you’ll see true friendship in the bad times.

The misunderstandings. The differences. The hardships.

Maybe, we are incompatible. Maybe our personalities don’t harmonize. But, I tried to blend in with your jam. I went to your level so that we can be on the same tune.

“Our friendship was not a give-and-take relationship”

However, maybe we are not meant to be friends. You’re selfish. You only think of your self. You think that no one cares about you. I want you to know that there’s a friend right here standing beside you. But, what you did is you ignored that friend and you pushed that person away from you. You were threatened of that person. And that person is me.

We should be partners. But, you isolated yourself and cancelled me out of the equations. I should know. I have the right to know.

Our friendship was not a give-and-take relationship. It was more of a guessing-game relationship. I gave more patience and understanding. Hindi ako nanunumbat. That’s what friends do. They understand each other. They help each other. But, I befriended a selfish person.

You were selfish of your feelings. You think that other people will adjust for you all the time. You think that everyone will understand.

Maybe I’m the selfish person. Baka ako yung nagkulang. Baka ako yung may diperensya. Baka ako yung talagang may problema. Baka nga ako yung walang paki sa nararamdaman ng iba.

But, I’m happy for you. You found friends who will defend you, comfort you, and be with you when you need them.

This is my unsent letter for you.

Sincerely,

bigfatpanda

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